NEVER 'DRESS UP' FOR CHURCH AGAIN

This morning I managed to catch the bus to get to church, just in time.  A little later I looked up from my reading and saw that I was on the wrong bus!  On time, but headed in the opposite direction. 

Oh, just great!  I had to get off and wait for another bus headed downtown, then catch a second bus.  I would be very late.  It was also a dangerous part of town to be stuck in, on foot.  Not good.   I was saying, "Lord, did you really think this through??"

Sure enough two seedy looking guys came along and sat down beside me.  Of course I ignored them.  Then one left.  I kept reading.  Finally I saw that the remaining guy was way down at the other end of the bench and respectfully looking away from me.  So I decided to talk to him.

Asking for help seemed a good way, so I asked him for the time.  He stood to get a watch out of his pocket, gave me the time, and apologized for the watchband being broken.  I told him what a good church I was on my way to, and he said he liked church.  He started telling me about growing up Baptist in Brady, a little town I know out in West Texas.  He was a shy man, just starting to get a little gray.

He grew up very poor, and could not dress well.  His mom made him a suit to wear to church out of flannel and corduroy.  But it didn't look like the suits the other kids wore, and they made fun of him.  The people in the church really dressed up in expensive clothes, with rings and watches.  "Like some kind of fashion show," he said.

When he got into his teens he would wear dark jeans, a white shirt and some cowboy boots to church.  He made sure the boots were always polished.  But one day in a Sunday School class, some boys - the same ones who had teased him about his clothes when they were all little - started pointing to a hole in his sole and laughing at him. 

After that he noticed that several of the older men in the church stopped wearing suits to church and would wear slacks and informal shirts.  He believed they did it just to put him at ease.  He really appreciated it.

When I invited him to go to church with me, he looked away, embarrassed.  His jeans and t-shirt were old, clean but a little tattered.  There was a faint smell of beer about him, not strong - probably from last night, not this morning, judging by how he looked.   I told him we dressed every which way at that particular church, but I think he was skeptical about that.  On the bus he sat at a good distance, never looked at me and was gone the next time I looked.

It really made me think.  About how, when I was growing up, church actually was like a fashion show.  About how that would make people feel who couldn't keep up with that.  Our family couldn't have kept up, except we sewed really well and managed to look at least OK without having much money.  But - is that what church is all about?  About competing as to who can display the most wealth?  About out-doing each other in fashion?  Even if it makes others feel ashamed about how they dress?

At my church, some of the older men and women still really dress up.  It is just how they grew up.  Some dress casually.  And some dress very casually.  The pastor wore a Hawaiian shirt this morning.  But then, so does Rick Warren, pastor of the famous Saddleback mega-church.

So this morning, I decided never to dress up to go to my church again.  I want everyone to feel welcome there.  And I want them to come.  As Christians, our mission in life is to help people come to Christ, then to become mature Christians.  For that, going to a church is important.

That man this morning seemed to want to go to church.  He might have really needed a church today too.  But I suspect that some of us who unthinkingly dressed better might have needed it even more!  Personally, I'm convicted.  We need to deliberately "dress down" more when we go to church.  God forbid that we would make anyone feel unwelcome in His church simply because of clothing.  It is a very small "sacrifice," when you think about it.

Comments

[Shane Raynor]

Gerry,
Thanks for posting this. I made the decision to dress down a while back. I did it intentionally so others would feel that they had permission to do the same thing.

[McGregor]

I have to disagree. True worship requires sacrifice. G-d sacrificed his only son. All animals brought to be sacrificed were required to be without blemish.
True worship requires a sense of reverence. If I was invited to a state dinner at the white house, I would not dress down. I would wear a suit and tie.
G-d does not care what we wear, but we should. By dressing in "Sunday-go-to-meeting" clothes, we focus our minds and attitude on the holliness of our worship.
But like anything in life, somethings ment for holy can be used for evil. Dressing nicely can be used as a means of showing off and commit the sin of pride.

[Conrad]

I attend an innercity church that has a food pantry and serves breakfast and lunch to the poor and homeless every Sunday.

Many folks wondered why these people would never attend the worship services. Most of them were dressed up too fancy.

I don't go to church in shorts & a T-shirt, but I never wear a tie anymore. Often I go in jeans and a sports shirt.

Since we have been intentionally dressing down we have begun to see some of the people we serve visiting and have had a few join.

[richard]

By dressing in "Sunday-go-to-meeting" clothes, we focus our minds and attitude on the holliness of our worship.

Are you serious??? I currently know a lot more "dressed down" people at church on Sundays who have minds and attitudes that are prepared for the holiness of worship, than I have known of "dressed up" church folks in over 30 years combined.

[Ben Blankenship]

Good commentary, Gerry. It recalls two instances. One in the 1960s: I was driving my family to Chicago on Christmas Day to spring a surprise on Carole's mother there. Carole said we had to stop for Mass somewhere along the way. So I pulled off the Interstate at Youngstown, Ohio and we found a church whose Mass was just beginning. We quietly sneaked into a back row during the service, not wanting to call attention to the fact we had on traveling slacks and such and our three little kids were barely out of diapers anyhow.

An old priest came up behind us, leaned over and abrasively asked if we were Catholics. My wife spoke up and started to explain we had just come off the highway as a break in our travel. The priest snorted and in a loud voice, rebuked her so several rows of parishioners were disturbed. "Here it's Jesus' birthday and some people won't even dress properly for this holy occasion." I was fixing to get up and confront him myself but my wife stopped me: "Don't, it's Christmas." It ruined our moods for the rest of the trip.

Now fast-forward to the 21st century. My wife and I are attending a contemporary Mass at a nearby church. She spots a teenage girl returning down the aisle after receiving communion, with belly button a-flouting amidst a bare midriff that wouldn't stop--as I (ahem) vividly recall. When we rose to leave the sanctuary after Mass, Carole collared the surprised girl and said she should be ashamed for wearing such indecent garb.

Times and trends do change. Right? Ben Blankenship

[Nadine R Stuth]

It is a shame that we can't dress up for church anymore....those that want to dress up these days are even more shunned that those that did not were in days gone by!!!

[Brent]

Dressing up for church is a tradition. It has nothing to do with worship.

[Ray Vannoy]

Thanks for an excellent article on never dressing up for church. I gave up ties in 2000. I dress casually because we are a downtown church with many lower income families. Being in leadership, I still get criticized.

As a surveyor, though, I must point out the Brady, Texas is in central Texas, not west Texas. In fact, Brady is just a few miles south of the official marker for the center of the state.

Keep up the good work!