Gerry Charlotte Phelps

Update to "Hillary, George, Methodists and Homosexuality

(Image from home.centurytel)

James Taranto had this follow-up on Friday, June 8, 2007, at "Best of the Web Today," Opinion Journal, Wall Street Journal, to his article on Thursday, June 7, 2007 "What Would Methodists Do Without Experts?*

"Yesterday we noted that President Bush's nominee for surgeon general, James Holsinger, is under attack for a 1991 paper in which he observed that the sexes are 'fully complementary' and that some forms of male homosexual activity are considerably more dangerous than ordinary intercourse.

"The Associated Press reports that Holsinger's detractors are also complaining about his religious activities:

• -"Holsinger has come under fire from gay rights groups for voting to expel a lesbian pastor from the United Methodist Church.**
• -"Also, Holsinger helped found a Methodist congretation that, according to gay rights activists, believes homosexuality is a matter of choice and can be 'cured.'
• -"As president of the Methodist Church's national Judicial Council, Holsinger voted last year to support a pastor who blocked a gay man from joining the congregation.  In 2004, he voted to expel a lesbian from the clergy.  The majority of the panel voted to keep the lesbian associate pastor in place, citing questions about whether she had openly declared her homosexuality, but Holsinger dissented.
• -"As for the congregation Holsinger helped establish, Hope Springs Community Church, the Rev. David Calhoun told the Lexington Herald Leader last week that the Lexington church helps some gay members to 'walk out of that lifestyle.'
• -"The National Gay and Lesbian Task Force, which is opposing the nomination along with the Human Rights Campaign and other local and national groups, calls such a practice 'nothing short of torture' for gays."

"This is an attack not only on Holsinger but also on the U.S. Constitution.  The First Amendment guarantees freedom of religion, which means that the government has no business dictating its moral preferences to the United Methodist Church.  That same First Amendmant protects all congregants who find the Hope Springs approach objectionable.  They are free to follow their conscience, or to find another congregation, denomination or religion.

"U.S. senators, however, are bound by the Constitution, which stipulates in Article VI that 'no religious test shall ever be required as a qualification to any office or public trust under the United States.'  Any senator who votes against Holsinger's confirmation because of his church activity is defying the Constitution (although there is probably no way to hold such a senator to account apart from the ballot box).

"Finally, take note of that quote, which comes from a statement by the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force, that so-called reparative therapy is 'nothing short of torture.'  This may shed ight on some of the hysterical claims about the treatment of terrorists at Guantanamo.  After all, if voluntery counseling is 'torture,' then pretty much everything is."

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*Available free by email from the Wall Street Journal.

**Actually this pastor was expelled from the clergy, not from the United Methodist Church.

Hillary, George, Methodists and Homosexuality

(Image from home.centurytel)

This one can be a bit tricky to follow, but not really hard.  It is from the Wall Street Journal's Opinion Journal, Best of the Web Today, June 7, 2007, editor, James Taranto (available free by email.)  Here is the story:

"ABC News reports that in 1991, the United Methodist Church--Hillary Clinton's denomination--considered 'changing its view that homosexuality violates Christian teaching.'

"During its deliberations, the church sought an expert opinion from a physician, James Holsinger, who produced an eight-page paper titled 'Pathophysiology of Male Homosexuality.'  Holsinger's paper did not address the question of whether 'homosexuality violates Christian teaching.'  Rather, it discussed reproductive anatomy and the medical risks of certain types of male homosexual activity.

"Ultimately, the UMC did not change its position.  As noted here, Mrs. Clinton's church still adheres to the view that 'the practice of homosexuality is incompatible with Christian teaching.  Therefore self-avowed practicing homosexuals are not to be certified as candidates, ordained as ministers, or appointed to serve in the United Methodist Church.'   

"The separation of church and state notwithstanding, the United Methodists' deliberations on homosexuality have suddenly become a subject of interest to the U.S. Senate, because the president has nominated Holsinger to be surgeon general.  According to ABC, 'Doctors who reviewed the paper derided it as prioritizing political ideology over science, and Democratic aides on Capitol Hill say the paper will make his confirmation hearings problematic, if not downright bruising.'

"So what did the paper say?  ABC's Web site headlines the article '"Homosexuality Isn't Natural or Healthy."'  It puts these words in quotation marks even though they are not a direct quote.  We have read the paper and will link to it as soon as we get done warning you that it contains a lot of discussion (in clinical, not vulgar, terms) of the mechanics of sexual intercourse as well as other, less familiar sexual behavior.  OK, here's the link. 

"Here are Holsinger's two main claims:

  - The sexes are "fully complementary."

  - Compared with ordinary intercourse, erotic activity that involves the alimentary tract poses far greater risks   of injury and infection.

"The first of these is obvious to all human beings and probably most lower mammals as well.  The second is obvious to anyone who has occasion to think about the subject.  (To those readers who would rather not, our apologies.)

"At some level this is sort of funny:  Mrs. Clinton's church had to find itself a medical expert to explain the facts of life.  But what is chilling is that Holsinger now finds himself under political attack for stating the obvious.

"This column takes a live-and-let-live approach on this subject, pretty much across the board.  Mrs. Clinton's church's position on homosexuality is nobody's business but Mrs. Clinton and her coreligionists'.  What consenting adults do in private is no one else's business either.

"But when political activists try to render the complementarity of the sexes a taboo subject, and when one of the two major parties seems ready to accede to this Orwellian effort, something is seriously askew in our political culture." (Bolding added.)

(Interestingly, George and Laura Bush are also United Methodists, although that was not mentioned in this article.)

United Methodist Bishops May Move Homosexual Agenda Forward Next Week

(Image from home.centurytel.net)

This is all about homosexuality and the United Methodist Church.

All 69 active and 92 retired Bishops of the United Methodist Church will be meeting in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina from Sunday April 29 through Sunday May 6.  They will consider the proposal some bishops are developing that would divide the U.S. United Methodist Church from the overseas United Methodist Church.

Why is this about homosexuality?  Because the African Methodists are the "swing vote" that has kept the United Methodists from accepting homosexual ordination and marriage.  If the liberals among the Bishops can succeed in dividing the UMC into two separate churches - at least when it comes to voting on this matter - they would have a better chance of enacting their agenda on homosexuality into church law.

If their ploy should succeed, and if they then succeed in enacting their agenda on homosexuality, the UMC would begin to split apart, just as the Episcopal and Anglican churches are doing over this issue.

That is why this coming meeting is of extreme importance in the life of the United Methodist Church.  It should be a matter of urgent prayer for all United Methodists.

Gay Episcopal Bishop to Join Partner in Civil Union

             New Hampshire Episcopal Bishop Gene Robinson

                               (Image from Jim Cole, AP)

"New Hampshire is set to become the nation's fourth state to offer civil unions for gay couples after legislation approved by the state Senate on Thursday was sent to Gov. John Lynch, who has said he would sign it. here.

"'My partner and I look forward to taking full advantage of the new law,' Robinson told The Associated Press.

"Robinson, 59, was elected the ninth Episcopal bishop of New Hanpshire four years ago, making him the church's first openly gay bishop.  His elevation divided the Anglican community.

"Robinson's partner of 18 years, Mark Andrew, 53, is a state health care administrator.  They live in Weare, a small town west of Concord."

Since Robinson was elected, the Episcopal Church has been in the process of breaking apart, with some churches leaving the denomination and some trying to put themselves under African Anglican Bishops.

Robinson's entering into a civil union with his partner can only further fray the already-tenuous union of the Episcopal Church and its larger communion, the world-wide Anglican church.

DON'T MARRY CAREER WOMAN/LAZY MAN

Forbes published an article saying "Don't Marry a Career Woman."   It said that career women have more divorces, are unhappier about children, and a host of other problems, all backed up by serious studies.

But after a firestorm of emails from angry career women, Forbes took the article down from its website.  Then it put the article back up, coupled with a response on the same page from one of Forbe's women executives.  The title - "Don't Marry a Lazy Man."

Comments, anyone?  (Comments have been made easier to make. Try one.)

FORD AND POLYGAMOUS GAY MARRIAGE

   

               (Image from afa.net, here)

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The photo above is of a committed relationship-group of gay/bisexual men and a woman.  It is a proto-type of  the gay-polygamous (3 or more of the same sex), and gay/bisexual-polyandrous (3 or more of mixed sexes)  legalized marriages, now being promoted by the glossy, high-end gay magazine, Advocate, here.

 

What does all this have to do with Ford Motor Company?  Just that Ford continually buys one or more full page, full color ads in Advocate, helping considerably in its financial support.  In addition, Ford has other aggressive gay-promoting activities.

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The AFA (American Family Association*) has a campaign to persuade Ford to stop supporting Advocate magazine, because of its strong promotion of radical gay issues, such as legalized gay, polygamous and polyandrous marriages.  In response to AFA supporters' letters to Ford management, Ford sends out a letter stating that Ford's support is "...a strong commitment we intend to carry forward with no exception."

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A boycott of Ford started in March, led by AFA.  Although Ford's sales have steadily dropped by a total of 14% and their stock price by 13% in just the first 3 months, Ford persists in its support for Advocate magazine, in forcing employees to take gay-supporting "diversity" training, and other aggressive pro-gay policies.

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Ford's response was that Chairman Bill Ford had an email sent to all Ford dealers pleading with them to "ask customers to support Ford."  It said customers "should stand by our company because of our innovative products, because for generations we've been a positive force in American Society, and because our successful Ford and Lincoln Mercury dealers have made their communities stronger."

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Chairman Bill Ford seems willing to take Ford into bankruptcy and ruin, rather than stop appeasing a small group of homosexual leaders.

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Would you like to help persuade Ford to stop actively working against the values of the majority of Americans?  Which would also help send a message to other companies as well?  Then you can click here to forward AFA material to a Ford dealer near you or call Ford, and here to print out the Ford boycott petition.  You could also visit AFA's excellent website here, to keep up with developments, where you can also subscribe to their free email newsletter.

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Remember, AFA and the other pro-family groups are doing the "heavy lifting" for all of us, in the defense of traditional marriages and families.  But they are only as strong as the support we give them!

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*AFA has matured considerably since its early, rather shrill days.  They are now in the forefront of the solid organizations defending traditional marriage and family. 

Parent-Heroes: The Real Adults

Sometimes, in looking just at TV and the movies and reading the newspapers, we can get the impression that parenting is a lost craft, a calling rejected by a population fixated only on its own self-gratification, on "having it all."  So it is exceptionally rewarding to catch a glimpse of true parent-heroes in real life.  It gives hope about the future of our country's children.

Last night I caught such a glimpse, in a taxi with my son and daughter-in-law.  It was nearly 11 p.m. and the taxi driver was a woman.  Sitting in front (where I had been exiled for eating garlic) I mentioned to her that I knew another female taxi driver, working to support 3 kids as a recently-divorced mother.  The driver mentioned having 4 young kids.

She said she and her husband took turns keeping the same taxi on the road 24 hours, so that one of them could always be at home with the kids.  They have done that for 9 years now.  (I also know a couple who are nurses who work alternate shifts, so that one is always at home with the kids.)  When I responded that "Children are a gift!" she agreed, saying that is why they are trying to adopt a fifth child.  When I asked what age child, she said it didn't matter.

"With 4 kids of your own, why do you want another?" I asked, very curious.  "Because there are so many kids out there that need a good home," she said.  Then my daughter-in-law commented on how her sister had adopted a child for that reason.

The taxi driver continued about how she felt children should be treated, especially those from really troubled homes.  She felt all babies, and also kids from troubled homes, needed to be held close most of the time, not rolled in strollers.  My son agreed, telling of doing that when his son was young. The driver said she and her husband held all their kids when they were little, never using strollers.

She went on to tell of the hazards of that for the parent.  She spoke of women she knew, foster parents who took in only the neediest of infants, and who held them to their shoulders most of the time throughout the day.  As many were nearing their 60s, they were having to get medical shoulder replacements, from the strain on their bodies of having an infant clasped there so much.  But they kept up the practice anyhow, because that is what those special infants needed.

Did you know?  I didn't.  But I am so touched, so heartened by these special, these ultra-giving, heroic parents.  God bless them!  And may they be harbingers of a new generation who put children and spouses far ahead of the popular, infantile dream of a life of constant, self-centered pleasures - the dream being pushed so fervently by almost every movie and TV show out there. 

Would that such parents as these would become the "usual" adult Americans!  The ones our teens would long to be like.  And that our movie and TV people would exercise all their genius to create great stories and attractive series, but about how such adults live, with tenderness and ardor.  They could substitute that for their pushing and glorifying of the "adults" in "Desperate Housewives," "Sex in the City," and so on and on and on. 

Now, that would be what I would call real "adult entertainment" - for real adults!

RELIGIOUS FREEDOM NARROWED BY GAY ADOPTION

   Respected columnist John Leo writes here, "Religious Freedom At Stake in Gay Adoption Debate."   

He says: "The controversy over gay adoptions in Massachusetts can be framed two ways."  For liberals it is "a simple matter of bias.  The Catholic Church must not be allowed to deny gay couples the right to adopt children."  But others ask "Under what conditions can the state force churches and religious agencies to violate their own principles?"

After 103 years of working for adoptions for children, "Catholic Charities of the Archdiocese of Boston will retire from those services this June" rather than allow the state to force them to allow gay adoption. The state legislature has refused to grant them an exemption.

Actually, gay couples are not being denied the chance to adopt, "but only the chance to adopt through a particular church." 

The children being used as pawns here are special needs children. "Boston's Catholic Charities accounts for 31% of the state's special needs adoptions" of abused, neglected, disturbed or handicapped children.  If the state granted a "conscience clause" to them, the church "could keep shouldering that burden, all but 3% of the cost at its own expense."  (Emphasis added.)

"More important," says Leo, "the state in effect is using its licensing power to bring the church to heel--no gay adoptions, no license to conduct adoptions in Massachusetts.  Acting on traditional Catholic principles - that one father and one mother are best for children - is defined as bias."  (Emphasis added.)

Leo continues that John Garvey, dean of Boston College Law School, argues that..."the issue is religious freedom.  'When freedom is at stake, the issue is never whether the claimant is right.''"

Leo writes "Anti-discrimination laws are used more and more to restrict religious freedom.  On some campuses, evangelical groups have been de-recognized or punished for refusing to allow sexually active gays into leadership positions.  A Swedish pastor was put on trial for a sermon criticizing homosexuality.  And British author Lynette Burrows was contacted by police about a possible 'homophobic incident'--she had said in a radio interview that she didn't think homosexuals should be allowed to adopt."

"Some fear more drastic attempts to curb the churches.  These might one day include Title VII provisions against gender bias to force ordination of women priests and imams, or even moving to deny tax exemptions for churches that reject favored secular norms."

Who would have thought that homosexual adoption would have any effect at all on our religious freedoms?  Very few, when all this first started.  Those few turned out to be right.  We should have listened.  And we need to pay a lot more attention from here on.  It is far easier to lose freedoms than to get them back!

"MARRIAGE IS GREAT EQUALIZER FOR BLACKS"

So says the title of an article today by Roland Warren, President of the National Fatherhood Initiative, in USA Today.  Some of what he says is:

"According to testimony given last fall to a Senate subcommittee by Ron Haskins of The Brookings Instutution, from 1970 to 2001, the overall marriage rate declined 17%, but 34% for blacks.  The overall rate for out-of-wedlock births is 33%, compared with 70% for blacks.

"These disappointing trends are critical because research has shown that marriage provides significaant benefits for men and women.  Most important, children who are raised by their married, biological parents do better across every measure of economic, social, health and educational well-being than children raised in other family arrangements.  In fact, when comparing families of similar socioeconomic status, these black children have similar outcomes to their white counterparts.  Marriage is the great equalizer."  (Emphasis added.)

Warren goes on to point out that the hero of Roots, Kunta Kinte, stopped trying to escape after his marriage and the birth of his daughter.  He points out:

"Kinte's dedication to his family is not unique. In 1890, 80% of black families with children were headed by married couples, according to sociologist Andrew Billingsley. That figure has dropped to 39%. In 1950, 64% of black males older than 15 were married compared with 68% of white males. By 1998, only 41% of black males were married. From 1950 to '98, the percentage of never-married black women doubled. (Emphasis added.)

"This divergence in black and white marriage rates is not the legacy that Kunta Kinte left for us. It is time for African-Americans to change the path that is holding our children and families back so that we can rediscover the "roots" of marriage."

The whole article deserves to be read, re-read and understood.  While African-American couples, families and children are suffering from the severe decline of marriage since 1960, so are whites - even if not quite as severely.  This article points out that marriage is the key to understanding how all of us got into a much worse situation than before, and how to get to where we need to be.

UPGRADES FOR MARRIAGES

Married?  Could it be better?  In fact, does it have to get better just to last?  Take a chance and keep reading.  Especially if you are only thinking about getting married.

First, what do I know?  After destroying a good marriage and leaving a fine husband (when very young and even more stupid), my own example is a great one about what not to do.  But after being trained in pastoral counseling, then marriage counseling, then years of counseling couples as a pastor, I have seen a lot and sometimes, helped a lot.  In addition, through the charities I started and ran, I learned even more from the 5000 or so homeless or poor people I helped move "up and out" of their situations.  What counts is, I got the picture.

With that as a track record, I can confidently say that there is good help to be had.  And that most marriages can be successfully upgraded to at least "satisfactory" and with a little willingness to invest in some work and some changes, to "flourishing", or even "delightful."

But this time, I'm not going to pull any punches in writing about it.  There is going to be some real blunt "straight talk."  Please, just hang with me.  I promise not to always be so direct or pushy.  But just this once, humor me.  (And come back next time!  I promise to be back to "normal" then.)

Here, then, is a quick, rough summary of what makes marriages work, flourish, or even delight.

First, make Christ the center of your marriage, like it or not.  You need the help!  And nothing else will help as much.  You need a third party involved, one who won't be unfair to either of you.  Who will bug you until you "make it right."  Who will give you the strength you need for the tough stuff.  And who will teach you how, and help you to be, the kind of spouse you will need to be.

Second, women, withhold sex before marriage.  Yes, it is up to you (hush now!)  And guys, accept it and shut up.  That is her prerogative.  You will prove your future trustworthiness by honoring her principled and courageous stand.  (And know you are getting a heck of a woman besides.  After all, that is how she would treat any other guy too.)  And - it will give your marriage a 50% better chance of lasting!  (If you didn't do this, your marriage can still survive.  But it will be a lot trickier, for a lot of reasons you can't change.  See my post, "Chapter 6: Sex and Poverty" under "Categories" in the sidebar at the left, for some of the studies and data.)

Third, go to marriage counseling before you marry.  Also, go to an "engaged encounter weekend" before you marry.  After you marry, go to "marriage encounter weekends" every 2 or 3 years.  Keep working at having a good marriage.  Study.  Be willng to change yourself.  Because you usually can't change your spouse any other way - if at all.

Fourth, have at least 2, and preferably 3 or more, children. Marry early!  Have kids right away!  (While in college if necessary, like the "Greatest Generation" did.)  You will have more of the energy young children will take.  You will be healthier,  and more likely to have healthy kids, the younger you have them (up to a point - younger than 18 or so is not good for moms or their babies.)  And you will be younger when the kids leave home!  If you can't have children, adopt some, or become a foster parent.

Children are what finishes growing us up.  Just manage whatever it takes to have them.  Pay the career costs and bear the financial burden.  (And remember - they are going to pay for your Social Security later!) 

Be good parents.  It will help you too, and your marriage.  Don't even dream of "being your kid's friend."  Be their parent!  Get some good parenting training.  Start with "Dare to Discipline" by Dr. James Dobson, child psychologist  (what he did before he became an activist, and nobody did it better.)  Disciplined kids are actually happier kids.  (Watch "Dog Whisperer" sometimes.  Not that kids are puppies, but the principle is roughly the same.  That is, you give them what they need as kids, not what you feel like giving them to satisfy your own needs.)

Structure your lives around them until they are grown (while still giving your marriage first place.)  It won't be that long.  Before you can turn around, they will be in college!  And if you had them while you were young, you will still have 20-30 of your best, most productive career years ahead of you. (If you take half-way good care of your health, of course.) Your children's great gift to you will be a hard, vigorous, infinitely richer marriage and life that cannot be had any other way.  Children are the highest challenge and the best investment.  The Bible calls them "a gift from the Lord."

Fifth, do whatever it takes to be faithful to each other, because nothing can corrode a marriage faster than unfaithfulness (even when your spouse doesn't actually know.)  You will learn the tricks of the trade.  When tempted by someone else, don't tough it out.  Run!  Agree between the two of you that if either of you is ever tempted by someone else, that one will tell the other right away, no putzing around first, with all the details about who and where that person is and what the contacts are.  No kidding.  Then, trust me, the other one will do a great job of helping you put an end to that! 

When you are friends with other couples, the men should make a point of being much closer to the other guys than to the other women, and the women should make a point of being much closer to the other women than to the other men.  No way should it ever be that a man is closer to a woman, socially, than to her spouse, and vice versa.  If it is in a work situation, so that you will be closer to your co-worker than to their spouse, at least get to know and cultivate their spouse.  Just the knowledge that you are on friendly terms with someone's spouse can often chill even the thought of hitting on you (what if you tell their spouse??)  And if there is a flirtation or problem, take issue with your spouse over it early on.  Don't be obsessively jealous or silly, and don't start trying to control your spouse.  Just don't "be OK" with it.  Stick to using common sense, but hold your ground.  Your spouse will appreciate it later.

Include single people in your circle of friends only with great care and vigilance, if at all.  And do not even think of having close friends of the opposite sex.  Don't argue - just do it!  Trust me!

Sixth, don't abuse your spouse in any way.  Quickly admit mistakes or offenses and apologize sincerely at once.  It will build respect for you and be appreciated.  Keep "short accounts."  That is, don't let big issues pile up.  Ignore or live with the small things.  From time to time, try to resolve some of the more important unaddressed issues.  But what doesn't get resolved then, let it go. Women especially, don't get focused on petty things and don't nag.  It won't get the response from your man you are hoping for and it does real damage to your marriage.

Remember that no contract or agreement that is seriously unfair, whether in business or personal life, will usually last.  Eventually, it will have to be fair.  Forgive each other, constantly, every time.  Not forgiving is like taking a little poison every day.  Don't hold grudges or keep score.  Get over being mad before the end of the day.

Never abuse your kids.  Never touch a child, or minor, sexually.  Never expose them to sexual talk or situations.  Children need, and have a right to, protection and shelter from the sexuality of others.  (Children are "sexually latent," and need to be, until adolesence.)

Cherish and protect your spouse and children from all who might harm them.  Be especially careful not to have any child in any situation where sexual abuse could possibly happen.  Be cautious about everyone, even trusted relatives and friends.  Think and plan ahead for this, and stay vigilant.  Check often.  Question your kids from time to time to see if there have been any problems.  Be an observer of who and what is around them, where and when.  Keep your eyes open. 

If in spite of all your care, your child is abused, no matter who it is, put a stop to it immediately, bring criminal charges, and make sure the perpetrator is labeled, isolated and punished.  Then make sure the child gets professional counseling, for as long as is needed.  Almost nothing is more psychologically devastating to a child or can bring such deep, destructive, long-lasting and resistant pathologies.  You must protect your children from this, above all else.

If you really, really mess up and your spouse has every right to leave you, but still might stay: don't expect to fix it with mere words or fervent promises.  Words won't do it.  Only action will.  You will have to prove, by your actions, consistently over a long time, how you have changed.  You have no right to ask or expect trust until you have proved, for months and years, that your change is real and that you can be trusted again.  And that is possible.  Don't give up prematurely.  But don't expect, much less demand, trust that you have not yet earned back.

And finally - listen to Dr. Laura!  (On the radio.)  She knows better than you do.  She knows what works and what doesn't.  And has a good grip on what is right and what is wrong.  Put aside what you already think, listen to her carefully, and then do it!  You will be glad you did.

(A postscript for pastors:  as St. Paul showed, part of the pastoral calling is to help build and protect the marriages in your church.  Your church can only be as strong as the marriages in it.)