(Video from ymarsakar.wordpress.com)
Are man and women different? Oh yes! Although feminists have insisted for decades that there is no difference, or that any differences are culturally learned, not inborn, science is re-acknowledging that male/female differences are hard-wired.
How can the difference be demonstrated? Ymarsakar brilliantly uses ballet and ice skating to illustrate how men and women rely on, and play to, each other's strengths. Their different strengths are, in countless ways, a good fit. She says:
The ice dance seems rather a fitting analogy...since the man is the base and foundation, using his strength to lift up the woman, holding her and more or less protecting her with his strength.. She could not, after all, do what her partner does for her, yet it doesn't need to be exactly the same. A woman on the ice contributes grace, beauty and perfection of form and motion. Different from what the man contributes, which is a foundation, strength, endurance, and so forth.
Watch the video and just listen and see.
But neoneocon, a former ballet dancer, speaks not only of the grace of the woman, but also of her tremendous strength.
Back when I was dancing, my personal experience with partnering surprised me. What is required of the woman is what you don't see -- what is hidden by the impression of tremendous grace -- and that is a tremendous and steely strength.
Not upper-body strength to lift: that's what the man must have, who must also take care to hide the effort involved and not telegraph it or make it look any way but easy.
And it's not too hard for an onlooker to imagine how difficult it must be to lift a woman...even a 100 pound woman is harder to lift than a bag of groceries. It's much harder to imagine the strength a woman needs to hold her pose in the air, even upside down at times, and to conquer her fear and trust a partner who quite literally holds her fate in his hands.
Trusting a partner who holds her fate in his hands? Yes, literally. See this video of ice-skating champions from Russia, where the man, holding the woman high above his head, loses footing and she crashes down from that height, with such force that it knocks her out.
The sad part of that story was not what happened to her, but to him. She was OK, and quickly regained her willingness to trust him on the ice again. But he was not able to bring himself to risk lifting her again, and left ice skating.
Which perhaps brings us to the crux of the relations between men and women. That is, the courage to trust. It has to be there. If lost, it has to be regained. Then paired men and women can often move, function and live almost as one - united in body, heart and mind, despite their tremendous differences. That very real possibility keeps us pursuing the dream of men who complement women, and women who complement men. Who become more, together, than each could be separately.
Perhaps ballet and ice dancing move us so because they lift up the dream before us again. And la difference? Vive!